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写作原文
①Looking at this thought-provoking picture symbolically depicted by the drawer, I do realize the urgency to improve the moral standards nowadays. ②A pregnant woman, an old man and his little granddaughter standson the crowded bus, looking at a young man who sits in the seat comfortably with a piece of black cloth covering his eyes, puzzled and indignant.①The temporary blind in the picture indicates a serious phenomenon in the modern society that some young people are suffering from moral decline. ②The reasons contributing to moral decline are worth pondering. ③First, respecting the old and caring the young is abandoned by some modern people, because they only care about their own benefits. ④Only if you could provide them with a great outcome, will they lend you a hand in exchange. ⑤In addition, the educational system is also to blame. ⑥It emphasizes more on high marks at the expense of having few time to teach traditional moral values in school which leads to peoples defect on this issue.①It is high time that we fostered our moral values. ②For one thing, schools and governments should play an active role in advocating moral values and traditional virtues to teach the young. ③For another, individuals should learn more about virtues and help people around with a warm heart. ④Only through our joint effort, could we recollect the virtues.
原作点评
第一段描述图画的内容。第①句，picture应该是被drawer描绘的，所以应该用被动语态be+动词的过去的、分词来表示;第②句最后，表达不够清晰，应注意。第二段揭示图画的寓意，阐述产生此现象的几个原因。应注意单复数问题。第三段结合前两段的阐述，提出建议。
总体点评
文章亮点：文章结构完整，每个段落的功能基本得以体现。文章错误：①语法错误：文章出现了一些语法错误，比如被动语态、名词单复数形式等。②句法错误：有的句子表达不够清楚。比如第一段第②句，第二段第⑤句。修改意见：文章整体结构不错，但是要注意一些细节，避免不必要的错误。本文中，单复数一致问题较多，希望作者在完成习作时应多检查，尽量减少此类错误。
写作原文
①Looking at this thought-provoking picture symbolically depicted by the drawer, I do realize the urgency to improve the moral standards nowadays. ②A pregnant woman, an old man and his little granddaughter standson the crowded bus, looking at a young man who sits in the seat comfortably with a piece of black cloth covering his eyes, puzzled and indignant.①The temporary blind in the picture indicates a serious phenomenon in the modern society that some young people are suffering from moral decline. ②The reasons contributing to moral decline are worth pondering. ③First, respecting the old and caring the young is abandoned by some modern people, because they only care about their own benefits. ④Only if you could provide them with a great outcome, will they lend you a hand in exchange. ⑤In addition, the educational system is also to blame. ⑥It emphasizes more on high marks at the expense of having few time to teach traditional moral values in school which leads to peoples defect on this issue.①It is high time that we fostered our moral values. ②For one thing, schools and governments should play an active role in advocating moral values and traditional virtues to teach the young. ③For another, individuals should learn more about virtues and help people around with a warm heart. ④Only through our joint effort, could we recollect the virtues.
原作点评
第一段描述图画的内容。第①句，picture应该是被drawer描绘的，所以应该用被动语态be+动词的过去的、分词来表示;第②句最后，表达不够清晰，应注意。第二段揭示图画的寓意，阐述产生此现象的几个原因。应注意单复数问题。第三段结合前两段的阐述，提出建议。
总体点评
文章亮点：文章结构完整，每个段落的功能基本得以体现。文章错误：①语法错误：文章出现了一些语法错误，比如被动语态、名词单复数形式等。②句法错误：有的句子表达不够清楚。比如第一段第②句，第二段第⑤句。修改意见：文章整体结构不错，但是要注意一些细节，避免不必要的错误。本文中，单复数一致问题较多，希望作者在完成习作时应多检查，尽量减少此类错误。
